I have always been a so-called high achiever (or obsessive-compulsive planner if you like). I like to plan ahead. First week in my freshman year in high school, I had already planned out the curriculum for the next four years and my path to Berkeley. I did the same thing when I was a freshman in Berkeley. Life generally turned out the way I had planned with some ups and downs in my life and career. When I turned 26 in 2001, I made two wishes on my birthday: one to remain employed (2001 was a very bad year and I couldn't afford to lose my job with my brother in college and mortgage to pay) and another to meet my future husband in 2001. I survived after four rounds of restructuring and I met Jaime at a bar in June 2001. I started planning for my brother after he changed his mind about becoming a dentist. I got him to HK in 2006 and found a job. Now after two years, he is doing very well with a career that he never thought of doing previously at school.
Last year, we started planning for having babies (which for a very long time was never part of my plan in life). First try was disappointing but there was nothing we could do. There are many things you can plan in life but having babies is certainly not one of them. We were extremely blessed to have conceived Chamu shortly after and now he is due in 7 weeks. I have always been very organized in planning my life, school, vacation, career but have been extremely behind in planning for parenthood. We don't really have a room (or even a crib) set up for Chamu (despite the fact it should be our "nesting" stage now). We cannot really plan for his actual due date (but I have work planned all the way up to his expected delivery date). We found a confinement lady/baby nurse just 3 weeks ago and just submitted the application for our domestic helper last week. There seems to be millions of things we have yet to do but I don't know where to begin.
Every now and then, I get anxiety attacks, nightmares and on top of those, I am extremely scared of the actual birth plan (antenatal classes and numerous books I have read don't seem to help at all). I kept telling myself, it will be fine, we will be fine and Chamu will be fine but I can't help worrying about my work (who is going to help me during my maternity leave?), my role as a mother (I probably will want to plan his life but I don't want to become one of those mothers...), and my life after Chamu. Will I be able to be a good mother? What about my career? I have become so tired from working (physically and mentally) since pregnancy but I don't think I can walk away so easily... Will it be better for him to grow up in the US? What about his school? Will he be able to learn to speak and read Chinese/Spanish fluently? Will he be a good boy? Some many questions and so little planning can be done...
Monday, March 31, 2008
Sunday, March 23, 2008
A Sea of Pillows
Mamu spent the last three days home. Ever since she got back from the US, she has been feeling a lot of groin (and growing) pains. The hormones helped relax her bones, getting them ready for delivery. But it seems they have worked extra hard to even relax the collagen that are used to gel her bones together. As a result, her pelvic bones have become quite loose which means legs cannot stay close (or it's just too painful) and she cannot turn in bed without much moaning and groaning. Mamu now walks like a penguin with her legs open to adjust to the new center of gravity and loose bones.
Belly has gotten a lot bigger so she needs the support of pregnancy wedge when she goes to bed to make sure her belly does not hang in the air. In addition, she needs to have a long pillow in between her legs when she sleeps since legs cannot close. She also has another pillow that supports her back. Dadu jokingly calls Mamu's sleeping arrangement "a sea of pillows" which is really not an over exaggeration. Dadu can barely reach Mamu and Chamu when in bed since all he sees and feels are just pillows.
Worst yet, Mamu's lower abdomen is starting to show stretch marks. This may mark the end of Bikini days for Mamu (not that she was much into it previously). She still applies stretch mark cream faithfully everyday, hoping the marks will fade. Mamu also started to have swollen legs and feet. She now wears size 9 shoes and they are sometimes still too tight. Her calves and feet now resemble those of Horton's (quite a scary sight). Luckily, after three days of lying down as much as she can, one can start to see the toes coming back to their original shape, rather than the shape of baby carrots...
Another 8 weeks to go and then Mamu can maybe feel the need to try to be a woman again. Now she just wants to be in bed all day, wearing her pajamas and glasses without even combing her hair...
Belly has gotten a lot bigger so she needs the support of pregnancy wedge when she goes to bed to make sure her belly does not hang in the air. In addition, she needs to have a long pillow in between her legs when she sleeps since legs cannot close. She also has another pillow that supports her back. Dadu jokingly calls Mamu's sleeping arrangement "a sea of pillows" which is really not an over exaggeration. Dadu can barely reach Mamu and Chamu when in bed since all he sees and feels are just pillows.
Worst yet, Mamu's lower abdomen is starting to show stretch marks. This may mark the end of Bikini days for Mamu (not that she was much into it previously). She still applies stretch mark cream faithfully everyday, hoping the marks will fade. Mamu also started to have swollen legs and feet. She now wears size 9 shoes and they are sometimes still too tight. Her calves and feet now resemble those of Horton's (quite a scary sight). Luckily, after three days of lying down as much as she can, one can start to see the toes coming back to their original shape, rather than the shape of baby carrots...
Another 8 weeks to go and then Mamu can maybe feel the need to try to be a woman again. Now she just wants to be in bed all day, wearing her pajamas and glasses without even combing her hair...
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Chamu's Last Trip inside Mamu
Chamu, Dadu and Mamu are in Taiwan this weekend. We finally made it back to Hong Kong three weeks ago but Mamu was working around the clock to try to get a deal signed up. This weekend is the first weekend that she is able to get some rest. Since Mamu is already almost 32 weeks and it seems like this is the last weekend she can fly with Chamu inside, we decided to take a mini vacation to come to Taiwan to visit Great Grandma and Grandparents.
They were all very happy to see Chamu, Dadu and Mamu. We were stuck in the US for so long so they haven't really seen us since December. Mamu's belly has grown more than twice as big as last time. Great Grandma saw Mamu's belly and asked (with a very worried expression) if Mamu were already married. She was able to relax again when she saw Dadu standing next to Mamu, whose presence reassured her that Chamu would be not be a baby born out of wedlock...
Grandpa still has not quit smoking! Mamu bought him a lot of nicotine patches and his assignment is to quit smoking before Chamu is born. He also has not lost much weight. I guess nagging from Mamu alone is not enough... We also went to pick out Chamu's stroller. After hours of careful examination, Dadu finally made up his mind and bought a very hip stroller that is light enough for Mamu to carry Chamu and stroller at the same time.
We also went around and satisfied Mamu's craving for authentic Taiwanese food which is very important since it will be a while before Mamu comes back to Taiwan.
Everyone is looking forward to meeting little Chamu. He is less than 8 weeks away from being on his own. He is already a very big boy (2.1kg to be exact and on track to exceed 4kg by birth). His head measurement indicates that he is four weeks larger than where his peers are (just like his parents, both of which were born with large round head!). He is getting chubbier and cheekier, with Dadu's nose and Mamu's lips... Can't wait to see him and hold him!
We also finally found a nanny for Chamu and applied for her visa. Hopefully she will be joining us soon. We still have to pick out Chamu's crib, car seat, changing table and set up Chamu's little room... It's going to be a very busy eight weeks to come...
Feb 27, 2008
March 20, 2008
They were all very happy to see Chamu, Dadu and Mamu. We were stuck in the US for so long so they haven't really seen us since December. Mamu's belly has grown more than twice as big as last time. Great Grandma saw Mamu's belly and asked (with a very worried expression) if Mamu were already married. She was able to relax again when she saw Dadu standing next to Mamu, whose presence reassured her that Chamu would be not be a baby born out of wedlock...
Grandpa still has not quit smoking! Mamu bought him a lot of nicotine patches and his assignment is to quit smoking before Chamu is born. He also has not lost much weight. I guess nagging from Mamu alone is not enough... We also went to pick out Chamu's stroller. After hours of careful examination, Dadu finally made up his mind and bought a very hip stroller that is light enough for Mamu to carry Chamu and stroller at the same time.
We also went around and satisfied Mamu's craving for authentic Taiwanese food which is very important since it will be a while before Mamu comes back to Taiwan.
Everyone is looking forward to meeting little Chamu. He is less than 8 weeks away from being on his own. He is already a very big boy (2.1kg to be exact and on track to exceed 4kg by birth). His head measurement indicates that he is four weeks larger than where his peers are (just like his parents, both of which were born with large round head!). He is getting chubbier and cheekier, with Dadu's nose and Mamu's lips... Can't wait to see him and hold him!
We also finally found a nanny for Chamu and applied for her visa. Hopefully she will be joining us soon. We still have to pick out Chamu's crib, car seat, changing table and set up Chamu's little room... It's going to be a very busy eight weeks to come...
Feb 27, 2008
March 20, 2008
-
In all the excitement about Javiercito, we are trying to also make sure our first-born doesn't feel neglected. As a bribe, Javiercito...
