I have always been a so-called high achiever (or obsessive-compulsive planner if you like). I like to plan ahead. First week in my freshman year in high school, I had already planned out the curriculum for the next four years and my path to Berkeley. I did the same thing when I was a freshman in Berkeley. Life generally turned out the way I had planned with some ups and downs in my life and career. When I turned 26 in 2001, I made two wishes on my birthday: one to remain employed (2001 was a very bad year and I couldn't afford to lose my job with my brother in college and mortgage to pay) and another to meet my future husband in 2001. I survived after four rounds of restructuring and I met Jaime at a bar in June 2001. I started planning for my brother after he changed his mind about becoming a dentist. I got him to HK in 2006 and found a job. Now after two years, he is doing very well with a career that he never thought of doing previously at school.
Last year, we started planning for having babies (which for a very long time was never part of my plan in life). First try was disappointing but there was nothing we could do. There are many things you can plan in life but having babies is certainly not one of them. We were extremely blessed to have conceived Chamu shortly after and now he is due in 7 weeks. I have always been very organized in planning my life, school, vacation, career but have been extremely behind in planning for parenthood. We don't really have a room (or even a crib) set up for Chamu (despite the fact it should be our "nesting" stage now). We cannot really plan for his actual due date (but I have work planned all the way up to his expected delivery date). We found a confinement lady/baby nurse just 3 weeks ago and just submitted the application for our domestic helper last week. There seems to be millions of things we have yet to do but I don't know where to begin.
Every now and then, I get anxiety attacks, nightmares and on top of those, I am extremely scared of the actual birth plan (antenatal classes and numerous books I have read don't seem to help at all). I kept telling myself, it will be fine, we will be fine and Chamu will be fine but I can't help worrying about my work (who is going to help me during my maternity leave?), my role as a mother (I probably will want to plan his life but I don't want to become one of those mothers...), and my life after Chamu. Will I be able to be a good mother? What about my career? I have become so tired from working (physically and mentally) since pregnancy but I don't think I can walk away so easily... Will it be better for him to grow up in the US? What about his school? Will he be able to learn to speak and read Chinese/Spanish fluently? Will he be a good boy? Some many questions and so little planning can be done...
Monday, March 31, 2008
Sunday, March 23, 2008
A Sea of Pillows
Mamu spent the last three days home. Ever since she got back from the US, she has been feeling a lot of groin (and growing) pains. The hormones helped relax her bones, getting them ready for delivery. But it seems they have worked extra hard to even relax the collagen that are used to gel her bones together. As a result, her pelvic bones have become quite loose which means legs cannot stay close (or it's just too painful) and she cannot turn in bed without much moaning and groaning. Mamu now walks like a penguin with her legs open to adjust to the new center of gravity and loose bones.
Belly has gotten a lot bigger so she needs the support of pregnancy wedge when she goes to bed to make sure her belly does not hang in the air. In addition, she needs to have a long pillow in between her legs when she sleeps since legs cannot close. She also has another pillow that supports her back. Dadu jokingly calls Mamu's sleeping arrangement "a sea of pillows" which is really not an over exaggeration. Dadu can barely reach Mamu and Chamu when in bed since all he sees and feels are just pillows.
Worst yet, Mamu's lower abdomen is starting to show stretch marks. This may mark the end of Bikini days for Mamu (not that she was much into it previously). She still applies stretch mark cream faithfully everyday, hoping the marks will fade. Mamu also started to have swollen legs and feet. She now wears size 9 shoes and they are sometimes still too tight. Her calves and feet now resemble those of Horton's (quite a scary sight). Luckily, after three days of lying down as much as she can, one can start to see the toes coming back to their original shape, rather than the shape of baby carrots...
Another 8 weeks to go and then Mamu can maybe feel the need to try to be a woman again. Now she just wants to be in bed all day, wearing her pajamas and glasses without even combing her hair...
Belly has gotten a lot bigger so she needs the support of pregnancy wedge when she goes to bed to make sure her belly does not hang in the air. In addition, she needs to have a long pillow in between her legs when she sleeps since legs cannot close. She also has another pillow that supports her back. Dadu jokingly calls Mamu's sleeping arrangement "a sea of pillows" which is really not an over exaggeration. Dadu can barely reach Mamu and Chamu when in bed since all he sees and feels are just pillows.
Worst yet, Mamu's lower abdomen is starting to show stretch marks. This may mark the end of Bikini days for Mamu (not that she was much into it previously). She still applies stretch mark cream faithfully everyday, hoping the marks will fade. Mamu also started to have swollen legs and feet. She now wears size 9 shoes and they are sometimes still too tight. Her calves and feet now resemble those of Horton's (quite a scary sight). Luckily, after three days of lying down as much as she can, one can start to see the toes coming back to their original shape, rather than the shape of baby carrots...
Another 8 weeks to go and then Mamu can maybe feel the need to try to be a woman again. Now she just wants to be in bed all day, wearing her pajamas and glasses without even combing her hair...
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Chamu's Last Trip inside Mamu
Chamu, Dadu and Mamu are in Taiwan this weekend. We finally made it back to Hong Kong three weeks ago but Mamu was working around the clock to try to get a deal signed up. This weekend is the first weekend that she is able to get some rest. Since Mamu is already almost 32 weeks and it seems like this is the last weekend she can fly with Chamu inside, we decided to take a mini vacation to come to Taiwan to visit Great Grandma and Grandparents.
They were all very happy to see Chamu, Dadu and Mamu. We were stuck in the US for so long so they haven't really seen us since December. Mamu's belly has grown more than twice as big as last time. Great Grandma saw Mamu's belly and asked (with a very worried expression) if Mamu were already married. She was able to relax again when she saw Dadu standing next to Mamu, whose presence reassured her that Chamu would be not be a baby born out of wedlock...
Grandpa still has not quit smoking! Mamu bought him a lot of nicotine patches and his assignment is to quit smoking before Chamu is born. He also has not lost much weight. I guess nagging from Mamu alone is not enough... We also went to pick out Chamu's stroller. After hours of careful examination, Dadu finally made up his mind and bought a very hip stroller that is light enough for Mamu to carry Chamu and stroller at the same time.
We also went around and satisfied Mamu's craving for authentic Taiwanese food which is very important since it will be a while before Mamu comes back to Taiwan.
Everyone is looking forward to meeting little Chamu. He is less than 8 weeks away from being on his own. He is already a very big boy (2.1kg to be exact and on track to exceed 4kg by birth). His head measurement indicates that he is four weeks larger than where his peers are (just like his parents, both of which were born with large round head!). He is getting chubbier and cheekier, with Dadu's nose and Mamu's lips... Can't wait to see him and hold him!
We also finally found a nanny for Chamu and applied for her visa. Hopefully she will be joining us soon. We still have to pick out Chamu's crib, car seat, changing table and set up Chamu's little room... It's going to be a very busy eight weeks to come...
Feb 27, 2008
March 20, 2008
They were all very happy to see Chamu, Dadu and Mamu. We were stuck in the US for so long so they haven't really seen us since December. Mamu's belly has grown more than twice as big as last time. Great Grandma saw Mamu's belly and asked (with a very worried expression) if Mamu were already married. She was able to relax again when she saw Dadu standing next to Mamu, whose presence reassured her that Chamu would be not be a baby born out of wedlock...
Grandpa still has not quit smoking! Mamu bought him a lot of nicotine patches and his assignment is to quit smoking before Chamu is born. He also has not lost much weight. I guess nagging from Mamu alone is not enough... We also went to pick out Chamu's stroller. After hours of careful examination, Dadu finally made up his mind and bought a very hip stroller that is light enough for Mamu to carry Chamu and stroller at the same time.
We also went around and satisfied Mamu's craving for authentic Taiwanese food which is very important since it will be a while before Mamu comes back to Taiwan.
Everyone is looking forward to meeting little Chamu. He is less than 8 weeks away from being on his own. He is already a very big boy (2.1kg to be exact and on track to exceed 4kg by birth). His head measurement indicates that he is four weeks larger than where his peers are (just like his parents, both of which were born with large round head!). He is getting chubbier and cheekier, with Dadu's nose and Mamu's lips... Can't wait to see him and hold him!
We also finally found a nanny for Chamu and applied for her visa. Hopefully she will be joining us soon. We still have to pick out Chamu's crib, car seat, changing table and set up Chamu's little room... It's going to be a very busy eight weeks to come...
Feb 27, 2008
March 20, 2008
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Chamu Escapes Big Snow Storm
Chamu was scheduled to take the last flight out of NYC today at 6:30pm. Two days ago, Mamu saw on the news that a big storm was coming in on Friday and secretly thought perhaps she could try to escape it by getting on the first flight to head back to LA on Friday. Fortunately, she was able to finish her work on Thursday and Dadu so patiently waited for 75 minutes on hold with American Airlines to get us seats on the first flight out of New York on Friday.
On Friday, we woke up to 4 inches of snow at 5pm but nonetheless made our way to the Airport. At the airport, we were told that our flight was still scheduled to fly but the flurry was getting even heavier. We waited and watched news about major delays and cancellations around the Manhattan airports but were glad to see that our flight takeoff time only got push back a little bit. Finally, after one hour of delay, we were able to board and after another hour of de-icing the plane, we took off! Although it was wobbly take-off, we soon cleared the storm and were flying at 30,000 feet.
Six hours and a few drinks (non-alcoholic) later, we landed in LA. Early spring sunshine and breeze were awaiting us. We watched many stranded passengers at the East Coast airports on TV as we exited the airport. We were so glad to have escape such a big snow storm and we are finally on our way home!
On Friday, we woke up to 4 inches of snow at 5pm but nonetheless made our way to the Airport. At the airport, we were told that our flight was still scheduled to fly but the flurry was getting even heavier. We waited and watched news about major delays and cancellations around the Manhattan airports but were glad to see that our flight takeoff time only got push back a little bit. Finally, after one hour of delay, we were able to board and after another hour of de-icing the plane, we took off! Although it was wobbly take-off, we soon cleared the storm and were flying at 30,000 feet.
Six hours and a few drinks (non-alcoholic) later, we landed in LA. Early spring sunshine and breeze were awaiting us. We watched many stranded passengers at the East Coast airports on TV as we exited the airport. We were so glad to have escape such a big snow storm and we are finally on our way home!
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Chamu in the Big Apple
Dadu escorted Mamu and Chamu to New York City for the third time just two days before the Valentine's Day. After a week in sunny Southern California, it was a shocking sight when we landed the airport that was fully covered in white. It was cold, icy and snow and sleet kept falling.
Dadu was leaving the day after to Panama so he was terribly worried about how imbalanced Mamu was going to survive in this kind of weather. Mamu had fallen on her butt four weeks ago in SF and caused a perpetual back pain since (and she was 10 lbs lighter). Luckily, snow turned into rain the next day and rain turned into sunshine the day after.
Chamu has been growing nicely. He is now almost 28 weeks big. Mamu has gained more than 30 lbs even though Chamu is probably only slightly over two lbs in weight. With the dry and sunny weather in NYC at least Mamu will have courage and motivation to walk around without Dadu on her side. Dadu left on Wednesday to return to Panama to attend his cousin's wedding so it is a big test for Mamu and Chamu since three of them have not been apart since little Chamu was conceived.
Luckily, Mamu is preoccupied with conference calls and meetings (Chamu's only fetal education thus far) and only has to suffer loneliness at night.
Tonight, Friday night, she is stuck on a tourist cruise dinner around the Hudson River with her colleagues. Even though the music is loud and she is with another 100 tourists, she and Chamu still miss Dadu tremendously... Big Apple is really not that fun when you are missing your other half...
Dadu was leaving the day after to Panama so he was terribly worried about how imbalanced Mamu was going to survive in this kind of weather. Mamu had fallen on her butt four weeks ago in SF and caused a perpetual back pain since (and she was 10 lbs lighter). Luckily, snow turned into rain the next day and rain turned into sunshine the day after.
Chamu has been growing nicely. He is now almost 28 weeks big. Mamu has gained more than 30 lbs even though Chamu is probably only slightly over two lbs in weight. With the dry and sunny weather in NYC at least Mamu will have courage and motivation to walk around without Dadu on her side. Dadu left on Wednesday to return to Panama to attend his cousin's wedding so it is a big test for Mamu and Chamu since three of them have not been apart since little Chamu was conceived.
Luckily, Mamu is preoccupied with conference calls and meetings (Chamu's only fetal education thus far) and only has to suffer loneliness at night.
Tonight, Friday night, she is stuck on a tourist cruise dinner around the Hudson River with her colleagues. Even though the music is loud and she is with another 100 tourists, she and Chamu still miss Dadu tremendously... Big Apple is really not that fun when you are missing your other half...
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Hotel California
Chamu seems to have checked into Hotel California and now he can never leave... After much premature excitement and celebration about being able to finally return to HK, we changed our schedule again. We got back to Cali on Saturday and now are scheduled to stay for another week, after which the destination is still unknown. The only consolation is that the weather here is always sunny, breezy and kind to us. There was supposed to be a storm over the weekend but it never really came.
We got together with Jorge, Suli, Carmen and James for Super Bowl Sunday: underdog NY Giants against undefeated Patriots. Super Bowl parties are never really about the game itself. We didn't expect much since most people were sure that Giants were going to be slaughtered by Patriots. For us, it is even more evident that we were there for food and family, considering Jaime and I showed up only knowing Tom Brady out of two teams.
I tried to hold myself back from eating since I have already gained 30 lbs since Chamu's inception and there are three more months to go (I broke down in tears uncontrollably when I weighed myself on Saturday). But I just couldn't resist the temptation of yummy Panamanian Paella (made by Carmen) and chicken wings and fresh frozen Yogurt (by Suli). We munched on and on and watched the game (which turned out to be a very exciting one given that NYG won and I betted on exactly the right outcome - NYG won by 3 points!)
Today, Jaime, Chamu and I have to go down South for a little adventure. My I-94 is up today so I need to get another one by crossing the border again. The drive to Tijuana was nice and the cross over to the Mexican side was a breeze. However, coming back was a crazy wait. The lines go around the block several times. We decided to jump on the taxi shuttle which we were hoping could place us ahead of people waiting in line and get back to the other side faster... The guy promised us we would clear in 20 minutes if we paid him 20 bucks but now one hour has passed and I'm still here typing. Hopefully in another 30 minutes, we can set our feet on the soil of the Golden State again (the fifth time in the last 10 weeks. )
We got together with Jorge, Suli, Carmen and James for Super Bowl Sunday: underdog NY Giants against undefeated Patriots. Super Bowl parties are never really about the game itself. We didn't expect much since most people were sure that Giants were going to be slaughtered by Patriots. For us, it is even more evident that we were there for food and family, considering Jaime and I showed up only knowing Tom Brady out of two teams.
I tried to hold myself back from eating since I have already gained 30 lbs since Chamu's inception and there are three more months to go (I broke down in tears uncontrollably when I weighed myself on Saturday). But I just couldn't resist the temptation of yummy Panamanian Paella (made by Carmen) and chicken wings and fresh frozen Yogurt (by Suli). We munched on and on and watched the game (which turned out to be a very exciting one given that NYG won and I betted on exactly the right outcome - NYG won by 3 points!)
Today, Jaime, Chamu and I have to go down South for a little adventure. My I-94 is up today so I need to get another one by crossing the border again. The drive to Tijuana was nice and the cross over to the Mexican side was a breeze. However, coming back was a crazy wait. The lines go around the block several times. We decided to jump on the taxi shuttle which we were hoping could place us ahead of people waiting in line and get back to the other side faster... The guy promised us we would clear in 20 minutes if we paid him 20 bucks but now one hour has passed and I'm still here typing. Hopefully in another 30 minutes, we can set our feet on the soil of the Golden State again (the fifth time in the last 10 weeks. )
Friday, February 1, 2008
Chamu is finally going home!
We are going back to HK at last next Monday. Originally, we thought we would be in the US for another two weeks. Since my I-94 expires on Monday, we had devised this elaborate plan to drive down to Tijuana in order to get my I-94 renewed. But it is no longer necessary since we can just hop on the plane to HK Monday evening...
JoJomami is getting bigger each day and her back is in more pain as more weight is gained... Ever since she accidentally fell on the hilly street of San Francisco, she has become extra careful with her movement, especially here in NYC where you have crazy yellow cabs and aggressive limousines.
Chamu is scheduled for his next check up on Feb 11, five weeks from his last checkup. I think he is also missing home. Sleeping in hotel rooms just does not compare to sleeping at home. All of sudden, the crowded streets of Hong Kong seems just so much more attractive than the glitzy Big Apple and glamorous LA. Yeah!
JoJomami is getting bigger each day and her back is in more pain as more weight is gained... Ever since she accidentally fell on the hilly street of San Francisco, she has become extra careful with her movement, especially here in NYC where you have crazy yellow cabs and aggressive limousines.
Chamu is scheduled for his next check up on Feb 11, five weeks from his last checkup. I think he is also missing home. Sleeping in hotel rooms just does not compare to sleeping at home. All of sudden, the crowded streets of Hong Kong seems just so much more attractive than the glitzy Big Apple and glamorous LA. Yeah!
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In all the excitement about Javiercito, we are trying to also make sure our first-born doesn't feel neglected. As a bribe, Javiercito... -
In our defense, we were just checking out the Macs when he started laughing...
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It's too soon to tell if we're completely out of the woods yet, but thankfully Javiercito has now stopped bleeding. The liquid they...